supposed to be studying biology and all I can think about are you and me in my bedroom of my apartment next year …
tonight, i plan on eating a whole pizza, smoking a couple cigarettes, watching my favorite shows on netflix and passing the fuck out just because i can. time for some me time.
missing that night where we laid in my backseat and cuddled up, closing our eyes in the purple darkness, my head on your chest as we both almost drifted into sleep, forgetting that we both weren’t supposed to be there.
would I like to carve pathetic into my wrist? yes. will I do it? no. but I wish the urges would go away.
I can’t wait for the day when someone loves every bit of me and makes me feel whole.someone who makes me never think of every horrible thing you did or every mean word you spoke again. til then your shadow looms over me
I really confuse myself. My emotions are out of control sometimes. I just wish I was still on vacation because it’s impossible for me to be sad when I’m in Florida. Then my plane lands on the ground and I realize its back to reality.
I feel so overlooked and unimportant, like if I fell off the face of the earth, it wouldn’t make a difference. I can’t decide if I’m getting better or if I swallow all my sadness and angst better. I don’t even know why I’m posting this. It has no point. I am angry, tired and sad. I just hate myself.